5 Reasons Why My Kids Should Not Have a Cell Phone
We say NO to smartphones until our daughters are 14 years old. Here are the top five reasons why my kids can’t have a cell phone.
Why My Daughter Can’t Have a Smartphone
In a world where technology is an entangled part of our daily life, it’s difficult to decide when and if children should participate in certain digital spaces. Foremost among these spaces is social media — a universe that can be particularly unforgiving to the young and impressionable. The easiest way children gain access to social media is a smartphone.
As someone whose job literally depends on social media — I know firsthand what a scary place it can be. I have witnessed how social media is wielded as a tool for unkindness and the immense impact it has on mental well-being. Social media harbors a potential to breed anxieties and insecurities stemming from societal norms and peer pressures. Its effects can be especially harmful to children.
Therefore, in our household, a stringent rule is set: no cell phone and no social media. Why wait? Check out my favorite organization called Wait Until 8th. They list more than 5 reasons to wait until age 14, but here are my top 5 reasons kids should not have a cell phone.
5 Reasons Kids Should Not Have a Cell Phone
- Distraction from Learning — Cell phones in the classroom are dangerous on so many levels. Not only can they be a distraction from learning, but also a source for cheating or video recording inappropriately.
- Exposure to Inappropriate Content — The internet is filled with content that is not suitable for children. Without proper supervision and the use of parental controls, children can easily stumble upon a multitude of damaging material.
- Vulnerability to Cyberbullying — One of my BIGGEST fears is my daughters will become involved in cyberbullying — as a victim or the bully. Access to a cell phone increases the likelihood and this form of harassment can happen anytime. It can also be difficult to escape and lead to significant emotional and psychological distress.
- Impacts on Health — Excessive screen time has been linked to various health problems in children, including poor sleep quality, eye strain, and increased risk of obesity (read more below*).
- Underdeveloped Social Skills — Technology decreases the amount of face-to-face interaction as users are able to communication from behind a screen. This can impair impair emotional comprehension, promote aggressive behavior, and hinder social and emotional competence (source).
*While there is no conclusive evidence regarding how badly cell phones affect a child’s brain, some studies have shown worrying findings. Preliminary data from an Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development (ABCD) study found that increased screen time, including time spent on cell phones, is not just bad for the brain but can affect a child’s psychology, thinking patterns, sleep cycles, and behavior, shortening their attention span and potentially encouraging violent or aggressive behavior (source).
Navigating the ‘Friends who have Smartphones’ Era
Many of my daughters’ friends will also wait until 8th to have a smartphone. It’s comforting to know we are not alone in practicing the same family rules. It is my hope many parents share the sentiment that social media intermingled with childhood can have negative repercussions. However, the real concern pivots on the reality that outside our own homes, different rules may apply.
How do you limit your child’s exposure and access to smartphones through other children? I believe it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversations about why your kid should not have a cell phone. Once your child understands the dangers/risks, they can make the right choice to walk way. My daughters know they cannot use their iPads or the computer without adult supervision because the internet is not always filtered. We practice the same restrictions when watching television — all shows have to be approved by an adult.
Our children know our expectations and rules for screen time do not disappear once they leave the home. If a friend suggests an activity that would upset us, we urge our children to tell an adult OR walk away. At the end of the day I know our daughters may not always listen to us, but I can hope they stay as strong-willed as they are today.
But MOM, all my friends have smartphones!
It can be tricky navigating the ‘friends who have smartphones’ conversation. I shut down the notion that I would ever buy my daughter a smartphone the first time she argued, “But MOM my friends have cell phones!” Our family rules will never change as a result of another family’s rules. It so important for my children to understand that we as parents will not succumb to peer pressure (and they should do the same!).
